The standard recipe for the “four components” of NVC is Observation-Feeling-Need-Request (OFNR). Today I’d like to invite you to try on a variation on this: Observation-Feeling-Aspiration-Invitation (OFAI). This isn’t intended to mean anything different than the standard recipe does —…
Do you ever find that events trigger emotions (or seeming lack of emotions) that lead you to do things you wish you wouldn’t, or to fail to do things you wish you would? Seemingly everyone experiences this. Likely, often when…
Recently, I’ve discovered a way of orienting to my inner life that seems to have the potential of producing dramatically more satisfying outcomes. A common way of orienting to our inner life might look like this. On some level, we…
Modes of Communication Nonviolent Communication highlights three modes of communication: honest self-expression, empathic listening, and empathic self-connection. At the heart of everything is empathic self-connection. This is about connecting to what feels alive in us, about what we value. Self-connection…
Most of us feel bad about ourselves, at least some of the time. If we pay close attention to our thoughts, we may notice thoughts like “I shouldn’t have done that” or “I’m an idiot!” or “I never do anything…
“So, is that for people who have anger management problems?” It’s a question I often hear when I tell people I teach Nonviolent Communication (NVC). There are a lot of ways to respond to that question. One approach I like…
I am excited as I start this note, because I’d like to offer an idea I hope you’ll find helpful. I’m also nervous, because I want to find a way to express myself clearly. Expressing our emotions can make our…
I believe one problem may be the key to all the world’s other problems: We to divide the world into Us and Them. They are less than fully human, so transparently stupid or evil or simply incomprehensible that we need…
Parents dream of family harmony, cooperative, well-behaved children poised to thrive in life, and warm, loving relationships. Yet, in most families, power struggles and conflict often seem to get in the way of fully realizing this ideal. Given that Nonviolent…